The Marvelous Crumb

Follow Joy. Find Belonging.

Month: January 2016

Time to fly or fall

I’m on the wing one foot in the air. Will I regret if I’m still up here when I’m 65? Perhaps. But, on my deathbed, I can’t imagine ever saying, I wish I had played it safe.

My body tingles with possibility.

The divine or devastating feels at my fingertips.

Perched on the wing of a plane, pointed peaks below, I’m weighing my options. The wind, the sun, the loud whir of aliveness, it’s all so overwhelmingly fabulous. Perhaps it’s time to leap?

January was my self-given deadline to make a career choice. Left or Right? That is, a salary, benefits, M-F schedule, or freedom, choice, and the uncharted?

For most of 2015, the dreaded question consumed all thought. You know, the one we all toil with at some point during our existence: Why am I here? What is my life’s purpose?

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Hello, heartbreak

me

This week I returned from 30 days of volunteering at a meditation retreat in the Rockies.

What happened?

I cried.

At times it felt that my heart was replaced by an insatiable hole.

I imagined packing my bags and leaving not long after I arrived.

This was not the blissful, om shanti, cucumber water, chenille-robe getaway that people seem to imagine with the words, “meditation retreat.” It was a kick-your-ass, look-at-your-shit, wanna-be-anywhere-else marathon.

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