The Marvelous Crumb

Follow Joy. Find Belonging.

Category: Videos

Noticing “No Ways” and Dancing in the Cracks

Last week I led a flash mob on a BART Train.

Heading to San Francisco.
On the long stretch when the train dives under the Bay.
I asked riders and friends to shake their arms and legs.
To take deep breaths followed by long sighs.
To tap dance down the aisle between the seats, and to move their bodies slow and smooth like the seaweed floating on the waves in the Bay above our heads.

This train where we often cram in, press to strangers arms and legs, but carefully avoid each other’s eyes.
Where I plug in, head down, legs crossed, arms folded and pray no one sits next to me.

What would happen by opening up in this way?

I practiced what I might say. There would be no room for timidity. The train is loud. Alone in my living room, I yelled, trying and discarding tones and words like blouses on a dressing room floor. Which would cloak me in confidence?

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Balancing Joy and the Inner Critic

My friends, yesterday I posted my first FaceBook Live video. The topic was joy. Above is a truncated version where I summarize three steps I use to touch into my own internal joy, which I believe is inexhaustible, unconditioned and a resource for dealing with the many challenges we face in our world and personal lives.

It’s a topic near and dear to my heart — a message I share with delight and conviction with all those who know me, and yet, this morning, I’m filled with the voice of my inner critic.

Why were you so serious?
You should have danced!
You should have worn glitter!
It was way too long!
Nobody experienced any joy watching THAT!

You get the idea. It’s been brutal.

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Another something I wish I hadn’t thought of

O.k. I’m going to do something brave.

Something I would have never done before I shaved my head, launched a blog and decided to not let fear dictate my decisions.

I will let you in on one of my secret life joys.

Secret life joy?

Yes, we all have them. These are the things we love but only feel free to indulge in when no one is around to judge, sneer or laugh—because that’s surely what they’d do.

Rapping when your rhymes don’t exactly flow at times; feeling the warmth, curves and squishes places of your body and liking it; really enjoying something delicious (preferably eaten with your hands)—these all fit the bill.

Our secret life joys often happen behind closed doors and we rarely talk about them.

Well today, with a blush, I open that door:

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