The Marvelous Crumb

Follow Joy. Find Belonging.

Another something I wish I hadn’t thought of

O.k. I’m going to do something brave.

Something I would have never done before I shaved my head, launched a blog and decided to not let fear dictate my decisions.

I will let you in on one of my secret life joys.

Secret life joy?

Yes, we all have them. These are the things we love but only feel free to indulge in when no one is around to judge, sneer or laugh—because that’s surely what they’d do.

Rapping when your rhymes don’t exactly flow at times; feeling the warmth, curves and squishes places of your body and liking it; really enjoying something delicious (preferably eaten with your hands)—these all fit the bill.

Our secret life joys often happen behind closed doors and we rarely talk about them.

Well today, with a blush, I open that door:

As you’ll notice, I’m no professional.

I’m not thinking about “being the best” or “doing it right,”

Going viral or achieving acclaim.

I dance because my body calls for it, because it makes me happy.

These little spurts come in moments of mid-afternoon stillness when I’m between projects, or with unexpectedly urgency when my body begs to shimmy NOW.

When I found myself no longer gainfully employed last Fall, I woke every morning with fear and anxiety of the unknown. I danced a lot to this song then. (I challenge you to listen to it and not tap your feet.) Dancing reconnected me to my whole self. It allowed me to be with the worrying, thinking, fearful me because through movement I recognized the wise, connected, rooted me. I felt better.

And that’s the thing about secret life joys, when we do them we often feel more whole, more fulfilled, more like who we really are.

So, what’s the big secret?

What if we all let our Wild-Thing selves free? Allowed ourselves to look stupid and feel joyful (gasp) in front of others? What kind of world would that be?

In spite of and at the delight of much potential freakiness, I’m down.

What do you say?

Will you share one of your secrets with me?

Leave a comment if you’re inclined.

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6 Comments

  1. This made me miss you 🙂 I want to know all about your life now and where your living. I thought of Meredith and Christina dancing it out on Grey’s Anatomy as I watched you and wished I was dancing with you!!

  2. PS- I guess I figured it out 🙂

  3. Carlynn Blackwell

    September 19, 2015 at 12:03 am

    I like to swing around my bed posts at home too music and sing while I flip my straight hair around

  4. Your writing inspires me. I’m so glad you are doing what makes you happy! My problem is what if we don’t know what makes us happy?

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